misquote a quote

[phillip1882]

pretty straight forward, post a quote modified for humor

give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, and you give up your monopoly of fisheries.

[Sean Quixote]

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Peking, you must acquit.

[phillip1882]

when i give food to the poor they call me a saint. when i give food to the rich, they call me an idiot.

[Sean Quixote]

You like me? Really? Really, really? Like, me....? Why?

[phillip1882]

yo know her life was saved by something other than medicine.

[somitomi]

The spaceships hung in the sky much the same way that bricks do.

[moody7277]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't beat it if it's dead.

[heuristically_alone]

Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled
And that made no difference at all.

[phillip1882]

if you come to a fork in the road, eat with it.

[Sean Quixote]

If you meet the Buddha on the road, give him this coin, and say these words to him: "valar morghulis."

[phillip1882]

in the beginning God created the universe. some thought that was bad move.

[Sean Quixote]

Why does this map of the galaxy say "there's coffee in that nebula" on all of the uncharted areas? That... just doesn't seem right.

[phillip1882]

eat right, exercise often, die of old age.

[Suzaku]

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you judge him he's a mile away and you've got his shoes.

[phillip1882]

there is no spoon, only a fork

[Suzaku]

In the world of the blind the one-eyed man is liable to be a peeping tom.

[Sean Quixote]

If you can't say anything nice, say 69 mean things instead.

[Suzaku]

If the cap fits, you've probably found a good milliner.

[heuristically_alone]

Don't cast your pearls before chickens.

[Suzaku]

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving may not be for you.

[phillip1882]

if at first you do succeed, try not to act surprised.

[Suzaku]

Where there's a will, there's probably an excited probate lawyer.