you cannot harm ratammer

[phillip1882]

i give ratammer a good book

[ratammer]

I'll read it when I get to the end of my pile!

[phillip1882]

give ratammer a wife/husband

[ratammer]

Why not both?

[phillip1882]

are you bisexual?

gives ratammer's husband a condom

[ratammer]

are you bisexual?

Yes!

gives ratammer's husband a condom

[phillip1882]

heals ratammer

[ratammer]

*gets better*

[phillip1882]

gives ratammer a burger

[ratammer]

I give you a hamburger. The universe is engulfed within itself. A bus advertising hotdogs drives by a papillon. It disapproves. An unnatural force reverses Earth's gravity. You ask for a hamburger. I reciprocate with a mildly convulsing potato. You disapprove. Your disapproval releases a cosmic shift in the void between birth and life. You ask for a hamburger. A certain small dog feasts on hamburger patties for the rest of its unnatural, eternal endurance. Your constant disapproval sends silence through everything. A contrived beast becomes omnipotent. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger your body becomes an unsettled blob of nothingness, then divides by three. The papillon barks. The universe realigns itself. You, the papillon, and the hamburger disapprove. This condemnation stops the realignment. Hades freezes over. A pig is launched is launched into the unoccupied existence between space and time with a specific hamburger. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger. It screams as you lift it to your face. You laugh maniacally as I plead with you. You devour the hamburger as it pleads for mercy. I disapprove and condemn you to an eternity in a certain void where a certain pig and its specific hamburger are located. The Universal Space-time Continuum Committee disapproves of my irrational decision. You are locked away and are fed hamburgers for the rest of your natural existence. A pickle refuses to break down during the process of digestion. You die in a freak accident. A certain pickle lives the rest of its life in a comatose state. Your soul disapproves. Down the street a child cries as a hamburger gets stuck in, and climbs back up, her esophagus. You ask again for a hamburger. I refuse to reciprocate. You demand a lawyer. I remind you harshly that this is the new world order. Lawyers no longer exist. Only papillons. Your name is written on a list of sins. Blasphemy. You ask for a hamburger. The comatose pickle vanquishes your soul from this universe. Realignment occurs. You beg for a hamburger. A certain papillon's name is written on an obelisk in Egypt. Mumble. Peasants worship the obelisk. Your soulless corpse partakes in the festivity. Hamburgers are banned universally. The sun implodes. All planets cease to have ever existed. Mercury. Venus. Earth. Mars. Jupiter. Saturn. Uranus. Neptune. Pluto is the only mass in existence. Conveniently, you are on vacation here. Your need for hamburgers re-establishes space-time. Earth is recreated under your intergalactic rule. Hamburgers are your army. You wake up. Clowns. Clowns everywhere. Your dream rushes to meet you. You are kidnapped. You ask for a hamburger. They hand you a hotdog.

[phillip1882]

what the hell possessed you to post such a thing?

[ratammer]

What Is Cuil Theory?

[phillip1882]

huh never heard of it before. very strange.

i create a web page for ratammer

[ratammer]

I visit it repeatedly

[phillip1882]

gives ratammer a wish

[ratammer]

I use it to wish for more wishes

[phillip1882]

sorry, but you know the rules;
no killing anyone,
no wishing for someone to fall in love with you,
no bringing someone back from the dead,
and no wishing for more wishes.

[ratammer]

Aww

[jimbobmacdoodle]

sorry, but you know the rules;
no killing anyone,
no wishing for someone to fall in love with you,
no bringing someone back from the dead,
and no wishing for more wishes.

I wish that ratammer had the power to change these rules at will.

[ratammer]

I wish for more wishes, and for phillip to fall in love with me.

[phillip1882]

love is a hard emotion for me.
but i''d be honored to be your husband

[ratammer]

<3

[phillip1882]

email me at phillip1882@yahoo.com if you're serious.

hopes ratammer gives me a lesson in love

[ratammer]

Heh I was just playing along

[phillip1882]

ah! ok. sorry. gives ratammer a harmless peck on the cheek