Vending machine

[Jplus]

You get altruistic mutual care.

I insert a kitchen knife.

[phillip1882]

you get a cuisine

i insert a butter knife

[heuristically_alone]

You get a stick of butter.

I insert a stick of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!

[Jplus]

You get a stick.

I insert peanut butter (on a stick).

[Suzaku]

You get a poke in the eye (with a blunt stick).

I insert a slap in the mouth (with a wet fish).

[Jplus]

You get free scales.

I insert a salmon steak, with the skin still on.

[Suzaku]

You get a five-star review.

I insert a Michelin star.

[Jplus]

You get a throwing star (shuriken).

I insert bandaids.

[Suzaku]

You get bandages.

I insert a mummy.

[Jplus]

You get company.

I insert snacks and tea.

[Suzaku]

You get coffee and cakes.

I insert a chocolate-coated coffee bean.

[phillip1882]

you get flavorful coffee

i insert the government

[Jplus]

You get democracy.

I insert the United Nations.

[Suzaku]

You get the United Nations of Earth.

I insert the Commonwealth of Man.

(See here for the reference)

[Jplus]

You get visitors from Proxima Centauri.

I insert 5 metric tons of tomato soup.

[phillip1882]

you get a cure for a spray from a skunk

i insert animorphs

[Jplus]

You get a squirrel shaped like a giraffe.

I insert vegamorphs.

[Suzaku]

You get a carrot shaped like a 1950s pinup's legs.

I insert said 1950s pinup.

[phillip1882]

you get art

i insert object oriented programming

[Suzaku]

You get complex class inheritance.

I insert duck typing.

[phillip1882]

you get the forbidden word

i insert magic

[Jplus]

You get a concoction from hemlock and fly agaric that is surprisingly nontoxic and even delicious.

I insert barium sulfate suspension.

[Suzaku]

You get a stomach X-ray session.

I insert a gamma-ray burst.

[phillip1882]

you get the hulk

i insert superman

[Jplus]

You get Wonder Woman.

I insert a kilogram of gold.