Vending machine

[phillip1882]

you get soft space

i insert money

[Jplus]

You get a chocolate bar.

I insert more money.

[somitomi]

You get a catchy 7/4 time bassline

I insert even more money

[Jplus]

You get a ticket for the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York.

I insert a pack of color crayons.

[Bop]

You get janitorial equipment.

I insert my left arm, on accident, when it gets caught in the machine.

[Suzaku]

You get a steam-powered prosthetic arm.

I insert a tea party.

(if anyone's interested in the reference)

[phillip1882]

you get the mad hatter

i insert wonderland

[Jplus]

You get a biscuit that would make you shrink.

I insert a bicycle pump.

[Suzaku]

You get blown up.

I insert the bomb squad.

[phillip1882]

you get disarmed

i insert jingle bells

[Jplus]

you get earmuffs

I insert a balaclava

[Suzaku]

You get stopped by the police.

I insert a taser.

[somitomi]

You get a maser

I insert a radar

[Suzaku]

You get a sonar.

I put in a nuclear submarine.

[Jplus]

You get a periscope, but you can't get it completely out of the machine because it's stuck somewhere.

I insert a crowbar.

[Suzaku]

You get my unstuck periscope.

I insert a crow.

[phillip1882]

you get black

i insert Rumpelstiltskin

[Jplus]

You get a lot of gold thread.

I insert my firstborn child.

[phillip1882]

you get passed over

i insert snow

[Suzaku]

You get moguls.

I insert a media mogul.

[Jplus]

You get biased information.

I insert Tim Berners-Lee.

[Suzaku]

You get the World Wide Web.

I insert Gopher

[Jplus]

You get a naked mole rat.

I insert estrogen.

[phillip1882]

you get a beautiful woman

i inert a wife

[Suzaku]

You get a husband.

I insert animal husbandry.