Rock, paper, scissors, chainsaw

[Jplus]

Cookie Monster (if hungry)

[phillip1882]

a bottom-less stomach

[Jplus]

a large plug

[heuristically_alone]

A large butt plug

[Jplus]

a small butt

[phillip1882]

constipation

[Jplus]

laxative

[Freddino18]

Adult diaper

[Jplus]

brambles

[somitomi]

a machete

[phillip1882]

lawn mower (cuts more)

[Jplus]

wrecking ball

[somitomi]

Miley Cyrus

(paper defeats rock by being on it after all)

[Jplus]

Oh, I thought by carrying or wrapping it. But I'm sure Miley Cyrus is strong enough to do either.

gastroenteritis

[phillip1882]

odor eater

[Freddino18]

Dead pig

(Source: Mythbusters)

[phillip1882]

bacon (makes use of the dead pig)

[Freddino18]

Bacon Cheeseburger (it tastes better)

[Jplus]

Bacon cheeseburger with guacamole

[phillip1882]

indigestion

[Jplus]

ginger tea

[Freddino18]

Mormons (they can drink herbal tea)

(this makes NO SENSE by the way, they aren't allowed to drink "hot beverages," but apparently hot chocolate and certain non-tea teas are allowed)

[Jplus]

Maybe I'm asking the obvious, but could it be simply that they are not allowed to consume stimulants such as caffeine?

logic

[phillip1882]

Christians

[Freddino18]

The Devil