Vending machine

[LingEarth]

You get 1¢ interest.

I insert a hard drive that's just been formatted.

[chridd]

You get a CD-ROM with zero files on it (not writeable).

I insert an unformatted blank floppy disk.

[phillip1882]

you get a cpu program

i insert linux

[chridd]

The vending machine is now running Linux.

I insert rm -rf /

[phillip1882]

you get a console

i insert butter

[jimbobmacdoodle]

You get margarine.

I insert Marge.

[phillip1882]

you get homer

i insert patience

[LingEarth]

You get to wait a long time before the vending machine gives you anything.

I insert a mountain.

[phillip1882]

you get a river

i insert a penalty shot

[ratammer]

You get a shot in the head.

I insert salt and vinegar.

[phillip1882]

you get a potato chip

i insert peppermint

[jimbobmacdoodle]

You get minted pepper.

You also finally get a deck of playing cards after waiting a long time.

I insert this forum thread.

[LingEarth]

You get the vending machine.

I insert jimbobmacdoodle into their own vending machine.

[jimbobmacdoodle]

You get https://xkcd.com/209/.

I insert my vending machine into the original vending machine.

[phillip1882]

you get recursion

i insert honinbo shusaku

[Mark_Cangila]

You get Magnus Carlsen.

I insert 10 crumpled dollar bills.

[phillip1882]

you get a crumpled 10 dollar bill

i insert a bank

[ratammer]

You get bonked.

I put in oil.

[phillip1882]

you get a car

i insert a diamond

[jimbobmacdoodle]

You get a lump of coal.

I insert Phillip.

[ratammer]

You get 1882.

I insert the Jurassic period.

[phillip1882]

you get tyrannosaurus rex

i insert a chicken

[ratammer]

You get a nugget.

I insert a million dollars.

[phillip1882]

you get an investment strategy

i insert the polar opposite of cheese

[chridd]

You get a map drawn on a cow.

I insert the complex function 1/z.