Vending machine

[ratammer]

You get a space bar.

I put in a mocktail.

[chridd]

You get a real tail.

I put in mach speed.

[marionic]

You get much speed, wow, so velocity

I put in doge.

[somitomi]

You get moonshine.
I get ninjad
You get a cate.

I put in sleeplessness

[chridd]

You get tired.

I put in sleepiness.

[somitomi]

You get sleep

I put in artifical lighting

[ratammer]

You get artificial lightning.

I put in parsnips.

[chridd]

You get an old-timey Homestar Runner cartoon.

I put in a keyboard and some boxing gloves.

[ratammer]

You get a well-armed piano.

I put in ox tongue.

[quasijem]

You get a sandwich.

I put in a catammer.

[ratammer]

You get the butterfly that lives on her head.

I put in a cricket bat.

[somitomi]

You get the English Ramones

I put in a dead lead-acid battery

[ratammer]

You get a battery acid leak all over your shoes.

I put in an autopsy report.

[The Snide Sniper]

You get an updated autopsy report.

I put in an attorney badge.

[ratammer]

You get an objection.

I put in a bucket and spade.

[LingEarth]

You get an Ace of Spades in a bucket.

I put in a road.

[ratammer]

You get to Rome.

I put in the scorekeeper bot.

[quasijem]

You get 10 points!

I put in 5 chips and some vinegar.

[ratammer]

You get an explanation of why most British chip shops no longer use actual vinegar.

I put in a typewriter.

[LingEarth]

You get a quantum computer.

I put in Julius Caesar.

[ratammer]

You get stabbed in the back.

I put in a Ling wing.

[heuristically_alone]

You get more empty space.

I put in a caffeine free energy drink.

[ratammer]

You get all the caffeine they had to take out to make it.

I put in the tough men from heury's sig.

[heuristically_alone]

You get a picture of my dad.

I put in the memory of a bird.

[ratammer]

You get future memories with a rat!

I put in flickbot.