Vending machine

[ratammer]

You get some creepy voicemails.

I put in my email address.

[The Snide Sniper]

You get emails from a Nigerian prince trying to smuggle his fortune into the country that's willing to share his riches if you help him get through.

I put in an edit.

[marionic]

You get a deletion.

I put in a spoiler.

[ratammer]

You get a bumper sticker.

I put in a prosecutor.

[quasijem]

You get an executor.

I put in six trenchcoats and a human.

[heuristically_alone]

You get a date.

I put in a pizza phone number.

[ratammer]

You get cold pizza delivered to the wrong address.

I put in a Covid vaccine.

[heuristically_alone]

You get two shots.

I put in a shotgun.

[somitomi]

You get a backseat.

I put in a seat belt

[quasijem]

You get belted.

I put in the dna for the pain receptors of an octopus.

[ratammer]

You feel the pain an octopus feels when its husband asks for a divorce.

I put in a unicorn horn.

[LingEarth]

You get a pegasus wing.

I put in loneliness.

[ratammer]

You get a crowd of online friends!

I put in my glasses.

[quasijem]

You get your mugs.

I put in bail.

[ratammer]

You get a bay leaf.

I put in a quasar.

[LingEarth]

You get a high-energy burst of radio emissions.

I insert that high-energy burst of radio emissions.

[ratammer]

You get the original quasar but somehow mirrored?

I insert a jalapeño.

[The Snide Sniper]

You get a jalapeyes.

I insert a pair of googly eyes.

[ratammer]

You get a pair of googly breasts.

I insert Bing.

[chridd]

You get Duck Duck Go

I insert the "must not say duck" thread

[LingEarth]

You get a quack.

I insert the Vending machine thread.

[chridd]

You get a bottle of soda

I insert the necromancy thread

[ratammer]

You get a zombie.

I insert quasijem.

[quasijem]

You get several smaller, actual jems!

I insert the mes back in.

[LingEarth]

You get everyone else.

I insert empty space.